The Study

The Coffee Room We have had a little room off one side of our kitchen set up as a "coffee room" since we moved into our house. From the moment I saw that room the very first time I walked in the house, I knew it was to be a coffee room for the youth at our church. We wanted a house that was good for entertaining and having the kids over in large quantities for gatherings, Bible studies etc. It served its purpose well. There were constantly kids going through and making unique combinations of coffee mixed with an array of creamers, and always a spill or two about on the counters and the "fixins cart". A handful of the kids would head straight to that room when they came through the door and spent quite a bit of time sitting, creating, laughing, spilling, and just being together.

Now that we are no longer youth leaders at the church and haven't been for half a year, it seems time to make a change. Every time I  look at the room I am reminded of all the memories that were had there and smile. But up until yesterday I haven't been able to bring myself to do anything else with the room except look at it. It's almost like I was avoiding it. It's in a very small way like when someone leaves a loved one's room exactly the same after they pass away because they don't want to really move on, and keep thinking that somehow everything will go back to the way it was if they just wait a while longer. The reality is that we are in a different season now, a beautiful season at that, and it's finally time to move on.

It's a ROOM, I know. It's not a person. Some of you are probably thinking that I'm talking about it like it were ACTUALLY a person. I tried putting a short little post about it on facebook and it just felt...empty. Like I was trying to sweep the significance under the rug and call it a day. It felt somehow worthy of pausing for a moment if only to drink in what it's like for things to change. For seasons to change. To mourn the loss of the change but also to look forward with joy and hope.  What once was the perfect little nook for gathering to make a hot beverage and talk about life now just seemed like an awful long way to walk to make a morning cup of coffee.

 I have always been a huge advocate for putting to good use every room in my house, and though I loved that coffee room, with its light up clock and cafe decor, we just are not using it. I'm not sure exactly what happened yesterday, but something clicked, and we completely changed the whole room in one evening. Maybe my "use what you have or give it away" mentality finally overrode my emotional attachment, or maybe I'm just really lazy and don't want to walk an extra fifteen steps in the morning.  Either way, in one afternoon a season changed for good. Goodbye old friend. You were well loved and we won't forget your memories.  



Grandpa's Chair Though I do feel a bit sad because changing the room makes our moving on more "final", I'm actually really excited about what it has become. We turned it into a study of sorts. I have a great red chair that I got at the church rummage sale a few years ago that's just my size (still looking for one to match it), and my favorite books to surround myself with.

My grandfather passed away a few years ago, and he had this amazing study where he kept many of his books. In the middle of tons of bookshelves was this chair. This was the kind of chair you knew without a doubt had been used...A LOT. When I picture my grandpa I either picture him working outside with his infamous hard hat, or sitting in a chair looking very serious and reading. So anyway my inspiration for the study came from him.

I have quite a few of his books, and some of them he really marked up. I decided to christen the room by reading his most marked up book of them all, The Handbook of Christian Apologetics. I started with a light read, I know. This is one of those books that I have to read VERY slowly. I got through a whole four pages this morning, and I felt like I had accomplished a lot. It's one of those books where you read a sentence, re-read it, and then cross your eyes and read it one more time just to be sure you didn't miss something. But I'm excited that I will have to read it slowly, not only to absorb the most I can, but to savor a book that my grandpa so clearly did.

On every single page there are sentences underlined and lots of scribbled notes in the margins. There are dog-eared pages everywhere as well as bookmarks, stains, and little inserted notes. As I sat down to read the first pages early this morning as the sun started to stream in through the window, it's as if I was sitting down with my grandpa to read. I could just imagine him smiling or furrowing his brow and bending down to scribble a note here or underline something there. With every page turn there were more little gifts left from him for me to find. I decided I would make marks of my own in a bright pink highlighter. My favorite is when I find myself highlighting over the same text he already underlined. Someday I hope to pass it to one of my children or grandchildren and just watch the look on their face when they open it up. I can say one thing with certainty. Every time I sit down in my new study in my comfy red chair and pop open my book to read, I will pause a moment and remember my grandpa. Who knows, maybe he is watching me from heaven and getting a good laugh every time I cross my eyes.